Insomnia strikes again. I swear my body clock is only programmed for me to sleep at 10pm or 2am! I was tired between 6 - 9pm today, but I was worried if I fell asleep then, I would be up again at 1am. Why? Because it's happened before. I would go to sleep at 8.30pm thinking I'm so clever, and then I would wake up at 1am and go back to sleep at 7.30am, or other days I wouldn't sleep at all until about 9am and be up at 2pm to see day light and make calls. Thank god I'll be back to a normal routine soon!
Since my last blog, I have attended yet another funeral. My grandad died back in Sept, and I was fortunate enough to go over there for a week to see my nan with my mum and brothers. The whole family arrived and it was great catching up and seeing my cousins children for the first time. It felt like everyone had moved on from being a child and are now leading the grown up life. Even my younger brother is thinking of buying his own place! Sometimes I might be in my own little bubble, but if it's not the time for kids and mortgages, it is time to make a career of what I'm good at or love or both!
It's weird how death affects people. It makes you feel overwhelmed with sadness at some points, yet grateful that I have this whole life in front of me. I don't want to waste the opportunities that are here for me in London. Whereas most of my family in Poland are living in a village, as nice as it is, I couldn't live there. Sometimes it takes a while to find the next opportunity, but I am always pushing myself to find a mix of what I can do and what I love doing.
Recently I have found a love for fashion. I say recently.. well, it has always been there. However, I have never noticed that is was something for me. I always thought it was for my other friends. For example, I had a child-hood friend who became a fashion designer and always thought that's her field, mine is art/photography/web design. I never thought about the intergration of the two until I worked at Steel; where I mainly worked on the Debenhams account. From that freelance job, I attended some interviews for perm roles at Asos, Miss Selfridge and Lipsy, as I finally had an idea of who I wanted to work for/with. But in the end I found a job where we seemed to suit each other. They are a small digital agency based in Putney called Locker room, that have a range of sport and fashion clients, including Jigsaw, Jack Wills, Kaliko, La Senza, and Ann Summers. Again I will be doing email design, but there is scope to work with video too.
I'll let you into a little secret.. I once wanted to become a film director, after I realised that I probably won't become a forensic scientist due to being squeamish. So having a possible opportunity to work with video sounds very exciting! As I began studying Interactive Media Production, I was hesitant that I was on the wrong course, and wanted to switch to Film Production at the arts institute next door, until the woman said I'd have to wait a whole year to start as that course was full. Next year meant an increase by 3x the tuition fees! A luxury I couldn't afford. So I continued being an IMP at Bournemouth, thinking that we will still learn how to use final cut pro, so it's fine. Little did I know that I'd be learning how to code PHP before I even knew the basics to HTML, a lot more than I'd be editing film!
To conclude, I think working with fashion brands will be fun, as I can be quite creative. At home I've been selling a lot of things on ebay and have started to customise clothing. For example there was a blazer I bought at a car boot sale and I had it pulled in at the back.. It looks so much better now! I was about to give it to charity and now I love it! I also have another idea for a pair of black trousers. I want to get black or blue canvas material and use it on the strip of where I'll put a zip on the ankle (up the inside of the calf), to make the trousers super skinny (and easy to unzip whilst balancing on 1 leg). I've also bought some lace off cuts and had an idea for a t-shirt design that would say "Like this t-shirt? Give us a job!" I thought that would be a good way of self-promtoting myself.. and then handing them my new mini business card with my new logo on it. I still need to finish my new website, but I've stuck with it being minimal for now.. Like a blank canvas, for new ideas to flourish on to.
As always, I have so much to do and so little time to do it. If I was a little more organised, it might've been complete by now.. but then trying to learn who you are takes time. I really want my personality and the love of what I create to come across in my new portfolio. Fingers crossed all will go well with that and my new job that I'll be starting in a few hours time. Argh!
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
New blog address open for business
Hello stalkers, you have found my personal blog ;-)
I have now created a new blog address which I will be using for business updates on availability and specifically for what inspires me within design.
Find me at: http://ohartnett.blogspot.com/
I have now created a new blog address which I will be using for business updates on availability and specifically for what inspires me within design.
Find me at: http://ohartnett.blogspot.com/
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
A message to graduates: Keep your chin up
To those graduates who have just finished uni, I will tell you one thing.. It's not easy to get a job you like straight away & hold on to it. So most may have to embrace life as a freelancer.
In this recession businesses are looking to recruit graduates in admin jobs, so just think about the expectation of a specialist job. Specialist jobs such as art therapists can't even get a job due to the cuts. After this job, I almost wanted to study something else, for an easier option, like teaching - but that isn't really a fall back option anymore. There's no way out, as it seems there is no easy option in this current climate.
I could settle for less, but I hate not being satisfied within my job. After all, you are spending most of the hours in the day, and most of the week, and most of your life working.. So you may as well pursue a passion. Currently I can go in a couple of different directions - the dev route or the design route or something new like producing music. That is why it is important to complete some small projects in your own time.
You have to face this recession head on, give it all I got. Be ruthless - I have a problem of being too nice. Be confident and become a ltd company sooner rather later. Learn from my mistakes graduates.
Some say that the riots arose from this depression of a recession. My friend who hasn't had a job in months said that she didn't go crazy and loot from shops.. But she did have her parents helping her out. My mum has also helped me get by, but it's running it's course. Both my brothers who didn't go to uni seem to be doing better financially than me so far. But I'm hoping that in the long run, my degree will help me in the long run.
So far, uni life has showed me what real life is like.. More suited friendships for example. Recently my oldest friends and I have fallen out. I didn't want this to happen, but I don't need negativity in my life. I'd rather be alone. But I find that I have other friends, from work, from uni, from climbing.. It's like the saying says, "Friends come and go, but you can't choose who your family are" (something like that - I'm not very good with remembering adages word for word).
So much has changed for me since uni. I was living in Cheltenham with a boyfriend, then had to move back home due to the lack of jobs in my field. I split up with my boyfriend of 4 years. I had 2 friends die due to rock fall when climbing. And now I have fallen out with my longest friends. All at the same time, I have been in and out of jobs, and I've been to countless interviews. It's hard to feel settled, but I have to face the fact that this is my life if I don't want to just settle for second best. And all this time, employers see you as a cog in their business - a way to churn out the big bucks. I know it sounds harsh, but it's true. You have to show your best side to them and that's all you can do. Live and learn.. but don't forget to enjoy life a little too.
The one thing that keeps me going is the expression, "Everything always happens for a reason". The jobs I've been in and the people I've met has been an amazing experience. Although I have bitched about my commute or that the work hasn't been challenging enough, it is getting me somewhere surely but slowly. And even if it doesn't, I know that I have had good friendships in my lifetime. I have felt what it's like to be in love, but also how it is to be by myself. I have traveled a little, but feel there is more to see in this lifetime. Having a great career would be amazing, but it's not everything. Happiness is a juggling act between all the areas of your life - family, friends, work, me, the world.
In this recession businesses are looking to recruit graduates in admin jobs, so just think about the expectation of a specialist job. Specialist jobs such as art therapists can't even get a job due to the cuts. After this job, I almost wanted to study something else, for an easier option, like teaching - but that isn't really a fall back option anymore. There's no way out, as it seems there is no easy option in this current climate.
I could settle for less, but I hate not being satisfied within my job. After all, you are spending most of the hours in the day, and most of the week, and most of your life working.. So you may as well pursue a passion. Currently I can go in a couple of different directions - the dev route or the design route or something new like producing music. That is why it is important to complete some small projects in your own time.
You have to face this recession head on, give it all I got. Be ruthless - I have a problem of being too nice. Be confident and become a ltd company sooner rather later. Learn from my mistakes graduates.
Some say that the riots arose from this depression of a recession. My friend who hasn't had a job in months said that she didn't go crazy and loot from shops.. But she did have her parents helping her out. My mum has also helped me get by, but it's running it's course. Both my brothers who didn't go to uni seem to be doing better financially than me so far. But I'm hoping that in the long run, my degree will help me in the long run.
So far, uni life has showed me what real life is like.. More suited friendships for example. Recently my oldest friends and I have fallen out. I didn't want this to happen, but I don't need negativity in my life. I'd rather be alone. But I find that I have other friends, from work, from uni, from climbing.. It's like the saying says, "Friends come and go, but you can't choose who your family are" (something like that - I'm not very good with remembering adages word for word).
So much has changed for me since uni. I was living in Cheltenham with a boyfriend, then had to move back home due to the lack of jobs in my field. I split up with my boyfriend of 4 years. I had 2 friends die due to rock fall when climbing. And now I have fallen out with my longest friends. All at the same time, I have been in and out of jobs, and I've been to countless interviews. It's hard to feel settled, but I have to face the fact that this is my life if I don't want to just settle for second best. And all this time, employers see you as a cog in their business - a way to churn out the big bucks. I know it sounds harsh, but it's true. You have to show your best side to them and that's all you can do. Live and learn.. but don't forget to enjoy life a little too.
The one thing that keeps me going is the expression, "Everything always happens for a reason". The jobs I've been in and the people I've met has been an amazing experience. Although I have bitched about my commute or that the work hasn't been challenging enough, it is getting me somewhere surely but slowly. And even if it doesn't, I know that I have had good friendships in my lifetime. I have felt what it's like to be in love, but also how it is to be by myself. I have traveled a little, but feel there is more to see in this lifetime. Having a great career would be amazing, but it's not everything. Happiness is a juggling act between all the areas of your life - family, friends, work, me, the world.
Monday, July 4, 2011
Finding Inspiration
Since working I started working at Digital and Direct 2 months ago, I have become more focused on design, since not having any coding to do. Sometimes I miss the coding side of things, but this is what I originally intended to do.. but then I could also argue that I originally intended to go into film editing/directing.. and at another point I wanted to be an art therapist.
On delicious.com I have gained many many URLs. However one URL I found most useful was: http://www.1stwebdesigner.com/design/useful-web-design-tools-daily/ ..I used to use Deviant Art when I finished uni, uploading my climbing photos on to the site. Since I moved back to London 2 years ago, I have had fewer climbing adventures, which is a real shame. Due to not logging in for so long, I have noticed that one of my climbing pics have been listed on this page:
http://news.deviantart.com/article/122038/
Recently I have bought a new camera, with a 24 optical zoom, which is exciting (Panasonic Lumix DMC FZ-100). I am also moving to zone 2 soon, for the time being whilst I can afford it.. Rather than being stuck in zone 4 on the other side of London from EVERYTHING and everyone it seems.. and have worked out that I'll save about 9 hours a week on average. That's more than an average day of work! Crazy! That's London life for you. I'm hoping to spend that time on:
a) sleeping
b) climbing more and building a group of climbing friends again
c) being more creative (more photos, artwork, paintings)
..basically having a life and a bit more me time :-)
On Flickr I have recently added some new work. Some of my favourite photos from the past 2 years. A few of them were really dark, for example the one taken in Laos - and I used camera raw to brighten up these photos. One of the other designers introduced me to the Dream plug-in for Photoshop, which is under Actions in Photoshop. It's not the best for dark images, but for a quick fix, to make your photos have that retro hipstamatic glow. It adds layers for curves and blacks, which you can then alter.. It has presets such as 'COLOR OF SUMMER' (yellow/orange shift).
I have been looking at some lighting effects within work and would like to add it to some future work.. However, when comparing a tennis player to a climber - it doesn't have the same movement within the sport - therefore this will reflect how I will artwork the image. I'm hoping the next summer months will give me the inspiration I need to get going with some new work. I hope you're as excited as I am!
Of late, I have been inspired by http://www.flickr.com/photos/clicboommondovisione/3948371773/ and am hoping to get some snaps at my friend's birthday with their vinyl records ;-)
One snap I'm most proud of is http://www.flickr.com/photos/31066945@N03/5890787004/in/photostream - as it wasn't taken with an SLR, with a fast shutterspeed. It was taken with a compact camera, where I literally had to hold in a certain place and snap at the right time - and this was the only chance I got, as I don't think she wanted to jump 14m again! (Well not over and and over at least).
On delicious.com I have gained many many URLs. However one URL I found most useful was: http://www.1stwebdesigner.com/design/useful-web-design-tools-daily/ ..I used to use Deviant Art when I finished uni, uploading my climbing photos on to the site. Since I moved back to London 2 years ago, I have had fewer climbing adventures, which is a real shame. Due to not logging in for so long, I have noticed that one of my climbing pics have been listed on this page:
http://news.deviantart.com/article/122038/
Recently I have bought a new camera, with a 24 optical zoom, which is exciting (Panasonic Lumix DMC FZ-100). I am also moving to zone 2 soon, for the time being whilst I can afford it.. Rather than being stuck in zone 4 on the other side of London from EVERYTHING and everyone it seems.. and have worked out that I'll save about 9 hours a week on average. That's more than an average day of work! Crazy! That's London life for you. I'm hoping to spend that time on:
a) sleeping
b) climbing more and building a group of climbing friends again
c) being more creative (more photos, artwork, paintings)
..basically having a life and a bit more me time :-)
On Flickr I have recently added some new work. Some of my favourite photos from the past 2 years. A few of them were really dark, for example the one taken in Laos - and I used camera raw to brighten up these photos. One of the other designers introduced me to the Dream plug-in for Photoshop, which is under Actions in Photoshop. It's not the best for dark images, but for a quick fix, to make your photos have that retro hipstamatic glow. It adds layers for curves and blacks, which you can then alter.. It has presets such as 'COLOR OF SUMMER' (yellow/orange shift).
I have been looking at some lighting effects within work and would like to add it to some future work.. However, when comparing a tennis player to a climber - it doesn't have the same movement within the sport - therefore this will reflect how I will artwork the image. I'm hoping the next summer months will give me the inspiration I need to get going with some new work. I hope you're as excited as I am!
Of late, I have been inspired by http://www.flickr.com/photos/clicboommondovisione/3948371773/ and am hoping to get some snaps at my friend's birthday with their vinyl records ;-)
One snap I'm most proud of is http://www.flickr.com/photos/31066945@N03/5890787004/in/photostream - as it wasn't taken with an SLR, with a fast shutterspeed. It was taken with a compact camera, where I literally had to hold in a certain place and snap at the right time - and this was the only chance I got, as I don't think she wanted to jump 14m again! (Well not over and and over at least).
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Fear of hospitals, rock fall and heights
A few days ago I had my very first operation, on Friday. I faced one of my worst fears; hospitals. Luckily, it was a nice private hospital, with carpets and an en-suite bathroom.. almost like a hotel really. But as soon as I checked as they were ready for me, they brought me down to the ground floor. Now I felt like I was in hospital. I had to take off my dressing gown in front of this stranger behind a half closed curtain. I wasn't naked, but I was beneath my gown and thankfully they had some disposable knickers to give me some dignity.
I laid on the bed and they pushed me through the corridors of the hospital. It was just like the nurse had described it to be, "just like the movies". Finally arriving at my destination, a chinese man was putting some sort of probes on me to monitor my heart rate, "oops, that's not meant to go there" ..Oh yeah, that makes me feel great! Nevertheless I felt calm, despite being a fairly anxious person. My anesthetist and surgeon walked into the room. My surgeon was joking around like he was still a teenager, despite looking like he could be the father of several kids. I liked that he could have a laugh just before an operation - I'd rather that, than HIM be nervous. Then my anesthetist squirted the needle upwards. "I've got my cocktail ready", he said. A good cocktail that will keep me asleep, I was thinking. My anesthetist reminded me a little bit of Jack Sparling for some reason. I think it was because him and Jack were of similar build, and someone who I was not expecting to be an anesthetist. Sparling came to mind when he told me how he used to work at a hospital and loved it because you had an hour and a half lunch breaks and you could smoke as much as you wanted to!
"Ah look at those veins! Do you do any sports?" the Sparling look-a-like said. "Yes, I go climbing". "Ah, that's interesting. Well it was either that, or you were a dustbin lady".. haha! So random!
"In a moment you will feel like your head will start to spin", he said. My neck felt hot, just like those times I have felt I almost fainted, when I was working at Flight Centre.. And they acted like I was making it up! About 30 seconds after the injection, I was knocked out.
The next thing I remember, I tried to open my eyes, but everything was so blurry. I was in a theatre room with several others. Another man was having some sort of panic attack after he woke up, but I felt surpringly comfortable. The first thing I said was, "What's the time?" "Twenty-five past nine", the female doctor responded. I tried to concentrate, to see her face, but nothing. I tried not to swallow too much, so I started to drift back to sleep. What woke me up was my drip on my hand being knocked, when they moved me back into my room. I asked my nurse to check if it was ok, he assured me it was and I went back to sleep. I asked if the lights could be switched off and the door closed.
I started to cough a little. I tried to look at my BlackBerry and respond to any messages from friends or family. Then I suddenly felt hot, like when you start reading in a car, when you full well know that you get car sickness. I sat up and looked over to see that I couldn't reach the fan unless I got up. But I couldn't get up because I thought I might fall to the floor for a start and second of all, I was still attached to my drip. I looked at the drip - it was empty. I've never been in hospital before, so I thought, "Oh my God, the nurses forgot to refill it". I rang the buzzer. I rang it 3 times. Then I couldn't breathe. My nurse walked in and he looked worried. "Air", was all I managed to say. A bunch of nurses rushed in, turning the lights on, opening the curtains, and putting an oxygen mask on me. My blood pressure was high and they stayed with me until it began to drop. "Do you normally suffer from panic attacks?" "Yes, but not for a long time".
It's been about 2 years since I last got one. I used to get them when I climbed with Si sometimes. When I was scared, he tried to hurry me up the rock face, making me feel even more anxious, which led to me hyperventilating at times. My friends said that he used to be mean to me when we climbed together. This time round, I guess another wave of emotion triggered the panic. I was BBM-ing a friend of mine saying how I wish I had a boyfriend, so that he could be there to fetch that fan and hold my hand. My friend tried to say that I don't need a man in my life, but as the drugs made me confused, I jumped to the worst conclusion thinking that she was trying to say, "I will never find a boyfriend". As I had an argument with one of our friend's a week before the operation, I thought she too was annoyed with me. Not want you want at your first time in hospital. I was glad I managed to text my mum to come just before I went into a panic and couldn't soon after that as it made me feel sick.
Last weekend I slightly panicked and almost walked over the edge of the cliff because of some rock fall. Charles had kicked a few bits off when we were out climbing at Hedbury. It was my first time climbing outside since September. I walked away, with my head down, as I had my helmet on. Then I had realised that Claire wasn't wearing a helmet, but Charles was. The rock fell pretty close to Claire, as it did with me once when rock fell all around me but on me and I never used to wear a helmet for sport climbing back then. I thought I had pointed out to them that the belayer is meant to wear it if you only have one, because if your belayer dies, you both die - unless you have a self-locking belay device, which they didn't have. My heart started to race and the thought of how my 2 friends have died because of rock fall made me think, "why am I here again?".
I was so nervous. I hadn't been outside since September and hadn't led outside since July, last summer. Wow, where does the time go? The rock felt so alien and I could feel myself shaking a little, remembering that the last time I was on this route I did NOT feel this nervous. Nevertheless, I got up it. It was only a 3, but I did it. I then attempted to second the 5 next to it. I didn't feel strong on it at all, but I got up it somehow. And because I got up it ok, I decided to lead it. I thought, I have to lead it, because the sooner I do this, the sooner I will feel confident enough to lead more routes and harder grades. I got on it. The first clip was quite high, but I remained calm, clipping it at waste height, which is unusual for me. "I'm safe" I thought out-loud. I clipped the second quickdraw, "double-y safe"! I moved up until I was at the ledge. As this was:
a\ A good resting point and
b\ a confusing bit - I felt stumped.
I tried to give it a go, but slumped back on to the rope. I probably tried it about 3 or 4 times, before I actually got up it. "One last try", I said. And it seemed to work. I used my previous attempts to figure out exactly what holds I needed in order to get my feet higher, and it was just a matter of doing it in the end. Unlike my other friends, I had to join 2 moves together, rather than just grabbing a hold and doing it in one flail swoop. Yes, I think I climb like a small person.
One reason why climbing is appealing to me, is because it's one of those social situations where you don't need an alcoholic beverage in your hand to mingle. I still like drinking, but sometimes I just wanted to hang out with friends. So when I found climbing, it was better than a trip to the cinema! Everyone who I've ever met through climbing have been so nice. It was such a nice change from this London attitude, where we shouldn't even make eye contact with others.
It's funny, I never used to fear heights until I started climbing. And then I found out I suffered from anxiety and IBS, but still carried on climbing. Although sometimes I feel like, "Oh God, what am I doing? Why do I enjoy this?" Afterwards I feel amazing. Amazing that I get to visit such beautiful coast lines, with the sun beaming on your face, or trekking in the woods, to climb up to see the view. Just going on those road trips with friends and having those deep and meaningful conversations, nothing beats that feeling of being able to go to these unheard places with the feeling of self-accomplishment!
Reading this as a climber, you know what I'm talking about.. But reading this without experiencing this, well it is one of those addictive feelings that you want to return to. When I went to Hedbury last weekend, Adam said to me, "This must be a nice change for you from London". But to me, it felt like home. So many memories from when I used to come here whist at Bournemouth uni, and even after that. I first saw Hedbury about 5 and a half years ago, on a very cold, windy and grey day. It was my first outdoor experience. Then my first lead experience was in Spain. Funny that, eh? I remember asking this random french dude at the uni wall if he could show me how it's done. Me and another friend practiced this a little and realised it was a lot more frightening than top-roping. So now, whenever I take a break from climbing, I try to get back on lead, almost immediately.. with someone I trust obviously.
Finding the right partner to feel comfortable with is not as easy as it seems. I know that my 2 favourite partners are Ant in Bournemouth and James in London. I feel completely safe with them. I know I should've been able to feel safe with my ex Si, but if anyone knows him, they probably know what he's like. I felt like because the route was supposedly "easy", it gave him the excuse to be inattentive, or so it felt this way. And because it was "easy", I should've stopped being a baby about it and just get up it. Not the most encouraging thing. Where I have gained trust in my climbing partners, is that they allow me to rest when I say "take here", instead of saying "no, just go for it". There have been times when James has refused to take, so that I take the fall.. but he doesn't do it ALL the time. He can tell the difference as to when I'm scared shitless and just being a woos. I also know that they have both been trained to belay properly, as it is their job to know, so at the back of my mind I feel safe. When I see some people, it worries me. Me and Ant have both been dropped a height, when we shouldn't have and it makes you lose trust in that person.
Ever since I took up the sport, I feel that I can make references to day-to-day situations through it. For example, how to communicate effectively with those who I work with. And even with the friends I make. I do like to have as many friends as possible, but sometimes you just get that feeling about a friend that makes you question them. Almost like how you can feel out whether someone would make a good belay partner or not. Climbing is one of those things that makes you grow up quickly. Peoples lives are at risk. So when I used to trad climb with my ex, the route was just as scary for him as it was for me, so we felt we could do this well together. And as he was an engineer and generally clever, I would trust that he would set up the anchors properly, before putting me on belay.
I laid on the bed and they pushed me through the corridors of the hospital. It was just like the nurse had described it to be, "just like the movies". Finally arriving at my destination, a chinese man was putting some sort of probes on me to monitor my heart rate, "oops, that's not meant to go there" ..Oh yeah, that makes me feel great! Nevertheless I felt calm, despite being a fairly anxious person. My anesthetist and surgeon walked into the room. My surgeon was joking around like he was still a teenager, despite looking like he could be the father of several kids. I liked that he could have a laugh just before an operation - I'd rather that, than HIM be nervous. Then my anesthetist squirted the needle upwards. "I've got my cocktail ready", he said. A good cocktail that will keep me asleep, I was thinking. My anesthetist reminded me a little bit of Jack Sparling for some reason. I think it was because him and Jack were of similar build, and someone who I was not expecting to be an anesthetist. Sparling came to mind when he told me how he used to work at a hospital and loved it because you had an hour and a half lunch breaks and you could smoke as much as you wanted to!
"Ah look at those veins! Do you do any sports?" the Sparling look-a-like said. "Yes, I go climbing". "Ah, that's interesting. Well it was either that, or you were a dustbin lady".. haha! So random!
"In a moment you will feel like your head will start to spin", he said. My neck felt hot, just like those times I have felt I almost fainted, when I was working at Flight Centre.. And they acted like I was making it up! About 30 seconds after the injection, I was knocked out.
The next thing I remember, I tried to open my eyes, but everything was so blurry. I was in a theatre room with several others. Another man was having some sort of panic attack after he woke up, but I felt surpringly comfortable. The first thing I said was, "What's the time?" "Twenty-five past nine", the female doctor responded. I tried to concentrate, to see her face, but nothing. I tried not to swallow too much, so I started to drift back to sleep. What woke me up was my drip on my hand being knocked, when they moved me back into my room. I asked my nurse to check if it was ok, he assured me it was and I went back to sleep. I asked if the lights could be switched off and the door closed.
I started to cough a little. I tried to look at my BlackBerry and respond to any messages from friends or family. Then I suddenly felt hot, like when you start reading in a car, when you full well know that you get car sickness. I sat up and looked over to see that I couldn't reach the fan unless I got up. But I couldn't get up because I thought I might fall to the floor for a start and second of all, I was still attached to my drip. I looked at the drip - it was empty. I've never been in hospital before, so I thought, "Oh my God, the nurses forgot to refill it". I rang the buzzer. I rang it 3 times. Then I couldn't breathe. My nurse walked in and he looked worried. "Air", was all I managed to say. A bunch of nurses rushed in, turning the lights on, opening the curtains, and putting an oxygen mask on me. My blood pressure was high and they stayed with me until it began to drop. "Do you normally suffer from panic attacks?" "Yes, but not for a long time".
It's been about 2 years since I last got one. I used to get them when I climbed with Si sometimes. When I was scared, he tried to hurry me up the rock face, making me feel even more anxious, which led to me hyperventilating at times. My friends said that he used to be mean to me when we climbed together. This time round, I guess another wave of emotion triggered the panic. I was BBM-ing a friend of mine saying how I wish I had a boyfriend, so that he could be there to fetch that fan and hold my hand. My friend tried to say that I don't need a man in my life, but as the drugs made me confused, I jumped to the worst conclusion thinking that she was trying to say, "I will never find a boyfriend". As I had an argument with one of our friend's a week before the operation, I thought she too was annoyed with me. Not want you want at your first time in hospital. I was glad I managed to text my mum to come just before I went into a panic and couldn't soon after that as it made me feel sick.
Last weekend I slightly panicked and almost walked over the edge of the cliff because of some rock fall. Charles had kicked a few bits off when we were out climbing at Hedbury. It was my first time climbing outside since September. I walked away, with my head down, as I had my helmet on. Then I had realised that Claire wasn't wearing a helmet, but Charles was. The rock fell pretty close to Claire, as it did with me once when rock fell all around me but on me and I never used to wear a helmet for sport climbing back then. I thought I had pointed out to them that the belayer is meant to wear it if you only have one, because if your belayer dies, you both die - unless you have a self-locking belay device, which they didn't have. My heart started to race and the thought of how my 2 friends have died because of rock fall made me think, "why am I here again?".
I was so nervous. I hadn't been outside since September and hadn't led outside since July, last summer. Wow, where does the time go? The rock felt so alien and I could feel myself shaking a little, remembering that the last time I was on this route I did NOT feel this nervous. Nevertheless, I got up it. It was only a 3, but I did it. I then attempted to second the 5 next to it. I didn't feel strong on it at all, but I got up it somehow. And because I got up it ok, I decided to lead it. I thought, I have to lead it, because the sooner I do this, the sooner I will feel confident enough to lead more routes and harder grades. I got on it. The first clip was quite high, but I remained calm, clipping it at waste height, which is unusual for me. "I'm safe" I thought out-loud. I clipped the second quickdraw, "double-y safe"! I moved up until I was at the ledge. As this was:
a\ A good resting point and
b\ a confusing bit - I felt stumped.
I tried to give it a go, but slumped back on to the rope. I probably tried it about 3 or 4 times, before I actually got up it. "One last try", I said. And it seemed to work. I used my previous attempts to figure out exactly what holds I needed in order to get my feet higher, and it was just a matter of doing it in the end. Unlike my other friends, I had to join 2 moves together, rather than just grabbing a hold and doing it in one flail swoop. Yes, I think I climb like a small person.
One reason why climbing is appealing to me, is because it's one of those social situations where you don't need an alcoholic beverage in your hand to mingle. I still like drinking, but sometimes I just wanted to hang out with friends. So when I found climbing, it was better than a trip to the cinema! Everyone who I've ever met through climbing have been so nice. It was such a nice change from this London attitude, where we shouldn't even make eye contact with others.
It's funny, I never used to fear heights until I started climbing. And then I found out I suffered from anxiety and IBS, but still carried on climbing. Although sometimes I feel like, "Oh God, what am I doing? Why do I enjoy this?" Afterwards I feel amazing. Amazing that I get to visit such beautiful coast lines, with the sun beaming on your face, or trekking in the woods, to climb up to see the view. Just going on those road trips with friends and having those deep and meaningful conversations, nothing beats that feeling of being able to go to these unheard places with the feeling of self-accomplishment!
Reading this as a climber, you know what I'm talking about.. But reading this without experiencing this, well it is one of those addictive feelings that you want to return to. When I went to Hedbury last weekend, Adam said to me, "This must be a nice change for you from London". But to me, it felt like home. So many memories from when I used to come here whist at Bournemouth uni, and even after that. I first saw Hedbury about 5 and a half years ago, on a very cold, windy and grey day. It was my first outdoor experience. Then my first lead experience was in Spain. Funny that, eh? I remember asking this random french dude at the uni wall if he could show me how it's done. Me and another friend practiced this a little and realised it was a lot more frightening than top-roping. So now, whenever I take a break from climbing, I try to get back on lead, almost immediately.. with someone I trust obviously.
Finding the right partner to feel comfortable with is not as easy as it seems. I know that my 2 favourite partners are Ant in Bournemouth and James in London. I feel completely safe with them. I know I should've been able to feel safe with my ex Si, but if anyone knows him, they probably know what he's like. I felt like because the route was supposedly "easy", it gave him the excuse to be inattentive, or so it felt this way. And because it was "easy", I should've stopped being a baby about it and just get up it. Not the most encouraging thing. Where I have gained trust in my climbing partners, is that they allow me to rest when I say "take here", instead of saying "no, just go for it". There have been times when James has refused to take, so that I take the fall.. but he doesn't do it ALL the time. He can tell the difference as to when I'm scared shitless and just being a woos. I also know that they have both been trained to belay properly, as it is their job to know, so at the back of my mind I feel safe. When I see some people, it worries me. Me and Ant have both been dropped a height, when we shouldn't have and it makes you lose trust in that person.
Ever since I took up the sport, I feel that I can make references to day-to-day situations through it. For example, how to communicate effectively with those who I work with. And even with the friends I make. I do like to have as many friends as possible, but sometimes you just get that feeling about a friend that makes you question them. Almost like how you can feel out whether someone would make a good belay partner or not. Climbing is one of those things that makes you grow up quickly. Peoples lives are at risk. So when I used to trad climb with my ex, the route was just as scary for him as it was for me, so we felt we could do this well together. And as he was an engineer and generally clever, I would trust that he would set up the anchors properly, before putting me on belay.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Woody RIP
Known as 'Woody' in the climbing community, but his real name was Jonathan Woods. He died on Sunday 20th March 2011 by a block of rock falling on his chest and died of chest injuries. He was out climbing with his girlfriend at the time, in a place where for most routes you have to abseil in to. It must've been so frightening for her. Luckily there were others around as sometimes you don't catch reception on your phone going to these places. As I mentioned in my post for 'RIP Barry', I too almost had a near miss with my ex Si, but luckily he was wearing a helmet and I dodged the huge rock coming towards me to break my legs.. We left the Wye Valley that day with only a few scratches. However, the tree trunk is still scarred to this day.
I received the news on Monday morning from my ex Si. He emailed me, which I picked up on my BlackBerry. He said, 'I know you were friends with Woody' and left me a link. Immediately I woke up. Thinking, please God no.. Please say he just had a bad fall and broke his legs or something.. please don't let him be dead. I opened the link: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-south-west-wales-12802822
I was home alone and had to scream at the walls for a moment. I went out in the garden for a smoke and spoke to Si over the phone. I remember saying, 'This is ironic. Woody rang me to tell me what had happened to Barry and now you are telling me about him'. All I could think was that Si must be next. If I had a car I would've driven to Cheltenham, as if to savour the moments I have left with Si. Then Si admitted to me that the last time he saw Woody was with Barry.. so out of the 4 of them, 2 are only alive today. But the odd thing was that although I've lost 2 friends to rock climbing in the past 6 months, my immediate reaction was that I just wanted to get outside and go climbing to forget about it all. To enjoy the outdoors again as it feels like ages since I got out.
The weird thing was that I only saw Woody and his mum, Frankie, the week before, when they came to visit Norman Rockwell's exhibition at the Dulwich Picture Gallery, a week before he died.. where he was about an hour late! I was almost about to leave, until they appeared by the door way, all wet. "We had to walk for 2 miles in the rain", he said and gave me this puppy dog look where you feel like you can never really be angry at this person.
When I saw his mum I thought, ah good.. Johnny's looking after you. She had lost her husband last year to motor neurone disease. I remember when Woody told me how it became difficult towards the end, so at least Woody didn't suffer like his father had. He used to tell me how he would go round his parents every Wednesday when things got worse, as his older brother lives in America. It sounded like such an ordeal with his dad waking up in the middle of the night.. and to top it off, he was having problems with his girlfriend at the time, Josie. I could tell he loved her, even before he died he held a special place in his heart for her. I asked if he had seen her recently? "Only last week. She had pneumonia", he replied, "but things are still difficult between us. I hope we can sit down and have a cup of tea again without the tension". Like how he's managed to become friends again with Charlie. He seemed like a lost little boy like that. Never truly wanting to hurt a fly.
It's funny, he said he was more into road biking now with his current girlfriend, spending most of his time doing that rather than climbing these days. I never thought it was true that Woody would completely give up climbing.. he was too good at it! Although he was impressively good at climbing, finding a hands off rest on an E4.. He never made me feel inadequate about my own ability. If introduced, I would make up excuses as to why I don't climb harder than I do, he would look at me as if to say, "shut up, you're fine". He really made me believe the quote, "It's not how hard you climb, it's how well you get up it" - or something along those lines. And that's when I stopped worrying about what other people think, and that's when I felt more confident/happier within myself. But he also said how he soloed up 600m a couple of years ago and that I could do it too - I didn't believe him then, but always loved the fact that he had the confidence in me ..and himself. Like nothing could ever go wrong.
So when I told my friends about another friend dying from rockfall, they became concerned and thought that maybe I shouldn't climb outside. But then I would be living in fear. If your time is up, it's up.. You just have to make the most of your life whilst your still alive.. So that's why I'm taking a road trip down to the south coast this weekend for a spot of climbing. Something I haven't done in months! And I feel sooo excited. I don't think Woody or Barry would've wanted me or anyone else to stop climbing.
I think the hardest thing for me about Woody's death is that I will never be able to have our random chats about life and everything. Before his dad got sick, I remember him saying how he wanted to do a PGCE and become a teacher.. but instead he took over his dad's business, being the gentleman he was. He was a gentleman and a charmer. But there was also that element of rambling and "Where are we going?" attitude that I found was very similar to myself.. which I found a little annoying to be honest - but made me laugh thinking about it, as my best friend said that we'd make the perfect couple! Haha! I never thought I had a sense of direction till I met him!
An example of one of his ramblings was written on a postcard from Scotland/Bristol;
"Liv, I've decided that there's an art to writing postcards. You see, at the start of my northern wanderings, it did rain a great deal, and though otters were seen and fishing was a success, it did not seem sufficient to write about it. Then I left the Ardnamurchan Penninsula for Fort William. The weather improved and it was possible to boulder, bike and climb all day long. This then, left me no time for penning postcards, hence my slackness (geographically) with this one. I did have an amazing time! And I'm still not sure what the art is. More later J x" An oxymoron in itself.. hilarious ramblings Woody!
He inspired me to write back with a poem once, but I can't remember what I wrote exactly now - something about woods I think. Seeing as he spends most of his time in the woods and his surname is Woods.. And did I say he was Batman? Or should I say an E C O L O G I C A L C O N S U L T A N T. Which basically means that he looked after bats and badgers and could shout at men in diggers who won't do what they're told, haha!
Speaking of penning postcards and poetry, I wrote a little something. One last time;
This life to next
I write to thy
One last hug goodbye
I cry to thy
A whisper, a sound
An um and an ah
You always spoke in riddles to me.
We spoke so many words among the years
How I wish we'd had more time between those years.
Now you are gone
No more, no longer
Goodbye, aufedersein
Fear no longer
Till the other side.
The alliteration here is reiterating the way he used to speak. I couldn't believe that I had crossed paths with someone who spoke riddles like me, where friends would wait to hear that final point, if any. My poem is also trying to say that you should never take your friends for granted. Or waste opportunities when they arise. You never know how long you and your friends have.
I felt inspired after the last time I saw Woody. I loved that he always seems to have the energy for everything.. He would inspire me about art, photography, anything creative. Now I know where he got his artistic sense from, his mother Frankie. Frankie studied graphic design and Woody was good at taking photos.. it all made sense that day. It's in his genes!
The day I spent with Woody, Frankie used the word, 'prolific' - to describe Norman Rockwell.. I have to say, I haven't heard many people using that word. I wanted to say, "Hey, that's how I came up with my name!" Being inspired by musicians short names, such as 'Vitalic', and a meaning to the word that is twisted to my name, 'Liv'.. I came up with the name, 'Prolivic' :-) Because I remember when some friends wanted to do something last minute, and I would have to let them down saying I'm busy.. "Again?" they would say. Or at least when I used to go climbing every weekend. But even as a child, I knew how to keep myself occupied. Anyway, the reason for this was because I wanted to go Ltd and needed to come up with an alias. In another post I will get into this further, as that's a whole other story.
It's weird, because it was like seeing him that last time was meant to be. To let him know one last time how I was doing.. that I feel things are finally coming together for me work-wise. So when I heard the news about the digital agency I was waiting to start with, had changed their mind in the last minute, on the same day as I heard about Woody's death.. I felt like things were slowly crashing around me. To top it all off, my last job had underpaid me, which means I'll probably have to move back home and my man situation had too become non-existent. Is this God's way of saying that I have a clean slate? I hope so, because how else am I meant to stay optimistic and positive? ..So you can probably see why I've had to take a week or so off to get myself together a little bit. And perhaps my next post will be about design or music.
I mentioned to him how music is my other passion in life other than climbing now.. Going to gigs as well as attempting to put my own stuff together. Then Frankie said how she was learning the bass guitar! I thought, man, you have a cool mum! I wanna learn the bass guitar now! That sounds awesome! Johnny had started going to life-drawing classes, something that I've looked into before, but haven't committed myself to any classes since uni. He also made me aware of the Bristol Art Trails - where I found out that I too could exhibit work if I put my mind to it.
I guess Woody gave off an aura of "I can do anything" after a good chat/visit. I could be an artist, a teacher, a designer, and climb loads of sh*t! If that's what I want to do. That's what I'll miss, his optimism and passion for life.
One takes for granted what he or she has. Thinking you will always see that person again, and why wouldn't you? How would I have ever known that saying goodbye at Oxford Circus underground that Sunday would be the last time I would see him? You don't. But what I will keep with me, or have learnt from him, is that I can always do better if I put my mind to it.. and practice that edging with my toes! Oh AND I MUST try Sea bass - the best fish ever apparently!
See you on the other side,
Liv x
I received the news on Monday morning from my ex Si. He emailed me, which I picked up on my BlackBerry. He said, 'I know you were friends with Woody' and left me a link. Immediately I woke up. Thinking, please God no.. Please say he just had a bad fall and broke his legs or something.. please don't let him be dead. I opened the link: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-south-west-wales-12802822
I was home alone and had to scream at the walls for a moment. I went out in the garden for a smoke and spoke to Si over the phone. I remember saying, 'This is ironic. Woody rang me to tell me what had happened to Barry and now you are telling me about him'. All I could think was that Si must be next. If I had a car I would've driven to Cheltenham, as if to savour the moments I have left with Si. Then Si admitted to me that the last time he saw Woody was with Barry.. so out of the 4 of them, 2 are only alive today. But the odd thing was that although I've lost 2 friends to rock climbing in the past 6 months, my immediate reaction was that I just wanted to get outside and go climbing to forget about it all. To enjoy the outdoors again as it feels like ages since I got out.
The weird thing was that I only saw Woody and his mum, Frankie, the week before, when they came to visit Norman Rockwell's exhibition at the Dulwich Picture Gallery, a week before he died.. where he was about an hour late! I was almost about to leave, until they appeared by the door way, all wet. "We had to walk for 2 miles in the rain", he said and gave me this puppy dog look where you feel like you can never really be angry at this person.
When I saw his mum I thought, ah good.. Johnny's looking after you. She had lost her husband last year to motor neurone disease. I remember when Woody told me how it became difficult towards the end, so at least Woody didn't suffer like his father had. He used to tell me how he would go round his parents every Wednesday when things got worse, as his older brother lives in America. It sounded like such an ordeal with his dad waking up in the middle of the night.. and to top it off, he was having problems with his girlfriend at the time, Josie. I could tell he loved her, even before he died he held a special place in his heart for her. I asked if he had seen her recently? "Only last week. She had pneumonia", he replied, "but things are still difficult between us. I hope we can sit down and have a cup of tea again without the tension". Like how he's managed to become friends again with Charlie. He seemed like a lost little boy like that. Never truly wanting to hurt a fly.
It's funny, he said he was more into road biking now with his current girlfriend, spending most of his time doing that rather than climbing these days. I never thought it was true that Woody would completely give up climbing.. he was too good at it! Although he was impressively good at climbing, finding a hands off rest on an E4.. He never made me feel inadequate about my own ability. If introduced, I would make up excuses as to why I don't climb harder than I do, he would look at me as if to say, "shut up, you're fine". He really made me believe the quote, "It's not how hard you climb, it's how well you get up it" - or something along those lines. And that's when I stopped worrying about what other people think, and that's when I felt more confident/happier within myself. But he also said how he soloed up 600m a couple of years ago and that I could do it too - I didn't believe him then, but always loved the fact that he had the confidence in me ..and himself. Like nothing could ever go wrong.
So when I told my friends about another friend dying from rockfall, they became concerned and thought that maybe I shouldn't climb outside. But then I would be living in fear. If your time is up, it's up.. You just have to make the most of your life whilst your still alive.. So that's why I'm taking a road trip down to the south coast this weekend for a spot of climbing. Something I haven't done in months! And I feel sooo excited. I don't think Woody or Barry would've wanted me or anyone else to stop climbing.
I think the hardest thing for me about Woody's death is that I will never be able to have our random chats about life and everything. Before his dad got sick, I remember him saying how he wanted to do a PGCE and become a teacher.. but instead he took over his dad's business, being the gentleman he was. He was a gentleman and a charmer. But there was also that element of rambling and "Where are we going?" attitude that I found was very similar to myself.. which I found a little annoying to be honest - but made me laugh thinking about it, as my best friend said that we'd make the perfect couple! Haha! I never thought I had a sense of direction till I met him!
An example of one of his ramblings was written on a postcard from Scotland/Bristol;
"Liv, I've decided that there's an art to writing postcards. You see, at the start of my northern wanderings, it did rain a great deal, and though otters were seen and fishing was a success, it did not seem sufficient to write about it. Then I left the Ardnamurchan Penninsula for Fort William. The weather improved and it was possible to boulder, bike and climb all day long. This then, left me no time for penning postcards, hence my slackness (geographically) with this one. I did have an amazing time! And I'm still not sure what the art is. More later J x" An oxymoron in itself.. hilarious ramblings Woody!
He inspired me to write back with a poem once, but I can't remember what I wrote exactly now - something about woods I think. Seeing as he spends most of his time in the woods and his surname is Woods.. And did I say he was Batman? Or should I say an E C O L O G I C A L C O N S U L T A N T. Which basically means that he looked after bats and badgers and could shout at men in diggers who won't do what they're told, haha!
Speaking of penning postcards and poetry, I wrote a little something. One last time;
This life to next
I write to thy
One last hug goodbye
I cry to thy
A whisper, a sound
An um and an ah
You always spoke in riddles to me.
We spoke so many words among the years
How I wish we'd had more time between those years.
Now you are gone
No more, no longer
Goodbye, aufedersein
Fear no longer
Till the other side.
The alliteration here is reiterating the way he used to speak. I couldn't believe that I had crossed paths with someone who spoke riddles like me, where friends would wait to hear that final point, if any. My poem is also trying to say that you should never take your friends for granted. Or waste opportunities when they arise. You never know how long you and your friends have.
I felt inspired after the last time I saw Woody. I loved that he always seems to have the energy for everything.. He would inspire me about art, photography, anything creative. Now I know where he got his artistic sense from, his mother Frankie. Frankie studied graphic design and Woody was good at taking photos.. it all made sense that day. It's in his genes!
The day I spent with Woody, Frankie used the word, 'prolific' - to describe Norman Rockwell.. I have to say, I haven't heard many people using that word. I wanted to say, "Hey, that's how I came up with my name!" Being inspired by musicians short names, such as 'Vitalic', and a meaning to the word that is twisted to my name, 'Liv'.. I came up with the name, 'Prolivic' :-) Because I remember when some friends wanted to do something last minute, and I would have to let them down saying I'm busy.. "Again?" they would say. Or at least when I used to go climbing every weekend. But even as a child, I knew how to keep myself occupied. Anyway, the reason for this was because I wanted to go Ltd and needed to come up with an alias. In another post I will get into this further, as that's a whole other story.
It's weird, because it was like seeing him that last time was meant to be. To let him know one last time how I was doing.. that I feel things are finally coming together for me work-wise. So when I heard the news about the digital agency I was waiting to start with, had changed their mind in the last minute, on the same day as I heard about Woody's death.. I felt like things were slowly crashing around me. To top it all off, my last job had underpaid me, which means I'll probably have to move back home and my man situation had too become non-existent. Is this God's way of saying that I have a clean slate? I hope so, because how else am I meant to stay optimistic and positive? ..So you can probably see why I've had to take a week or so off to get myself together a little bit. And perhaps my next post will be about design or music.
I mentioned to him how music is my other passion in life other than climbing now.. Going to gigs as well as attempting to put my own stuff together. Then Frankie said how she was learning the bass guitar! I thought, man, you have a cool mum! I wanna learn the bass guitar now! That sounds awesome! Johnny had started going to life-drawing classes, something that I've looked into before, but haven't committed myself to any classes since uni. He also made me aware of the Bristol Art Trails - where I found out that I too could exhibit work if I put my mind to it.
I guess Woody gave off an aura of "I can do anything" after a good chat/visit. I could be an artist, a teacher, a designer, and climb loads of sh*t! If that's what I want to do. That's what I'll miss, his optimism and passion for life.
One takes for granted what he or she has. Thinking you will always see that person again, and why wouldn't you? How would I have ever known that saying goodbye at Oxford Circus underground that Sunday would be the last time I would see him? You don't. But what I will keep with me, or have learnt from him, is that I can always do better if I put my mind to it.. and practice that edging with my toes! Oh AND I MUST try Sea bass - the best fish ever apparently!
See you on the other side,
Liv x
Thursday, January 13, 2011
New Year Wishes
Happy New Year Everyone!
This blog is about a week too late.. Oh well, better late than never!
So what is everyone's new year's resolutions? Do you have any? Those who I spoke to over the festive period were all determined that this year is the year where things will happen for them. Myself included. It appears 2011 has a lot of promise, but will it live up to its expectations? Of course things don't happen over night or without a little push.. Slowly but surely, the magic will happen :-)
My mum always believed that depending what you are doing over new year, it marks what you will be doing for the rest of the year. Is this why we don't sleep over the midnight hour? For me, new year's was about being with close friends and enjoying the music around us. The guys were fantastic. They managed to get a smoke machine and apache lighting.. A bit like this vimeo, but on a smaller scale: http://vimeo.com/2049787 Having a houseparty above a main road, made everyone want to show off that we were having a great night and dancing by the large windows that were level-height with a double-decker bus. It's times like these that I like to sing the song 'I love London' in my head.
Towards the end of the night, there were some problems with the music.. I'm not sure at what point.. perhaps I just took over and gave myself the role of DJ for the evening? Apparently Spotify stopped working and we ended up using Last.fm.. but as you know, it's a random generator for similar artists, therefore not the best thing for playing music. If only we had http://www.youtubedisco.de/ But saying that, the standard channels of youtube and soundcloud were fine. A few of my favourites played from the night were:
- 'Suffocation' by Crystal Castles
- 'Uncertainty' by DJ Cybo
- And of course, 'Strobe' by Deadmau5
New Year Wishes
For some, this year will bring:
LOVE;
Sam, a friend of mine, told me that last year he lost his brother in a motorbike accident, his girlfriend left him and to top it all off, his job were trying to get rid of him behind his back. Now he's working for himself full-time and he already found a new girlfriend at new year, who lives around the corner from him and not 100 miles away. Also, an old school friend AND a cousin are getting married this year. This probably means it's the first one to break the seal on all those who are going to get married in my age bracket. The age of the spinster has begun!
A CAREER;
Another friend, Sarah, was pushing for a job she loved. A job in the art world. She gave up her full-time waitressing job to work on a project for the arts council, which documented the lives of farmers (http://www.farming-photography.co.uk/galleries.html). However when that came to an end she was left in limbo land again. Now she will start a full-time job as a researcher for a subject that she is passionate about - renewable energy. Whereas another friend, Louise, hopes to go back to school, despite the rise in tuition fees, to study an MA to further her photography career (http://louisecarreck.com/).
TRAVEL;
Another friend is a security guard and photographer, (http://gemmaclack.com/). She wishes to save enough to visit Australia and beyond. Don't we all? A climber friend's brother, Chris Bevins (http://www.facebook.com/bevins2), has managed to travel the world over the past few years climbing, sky-diving and all sorts of adventures, even becoming ordained as a minister! How you ask? Working on an oil-rig. I wonder if they take women? ;-) A funny story from last year, was that one day he went sky-diving with the keys to his rented vehicle. Which meant he had to get public transport back to the office in Yosemite. To top it all off, he backed into a car!
..I love my friends. They're a great bunch!
You see.. the magic is already starting to happen!
For myself, it is to make it as a designer. I never realised how much of a geek I was, but since uni I love interaction design.. and now I want to learn how to make music via ableton! I also want to learn how to Tango, be a stonger climber, paint again.. And that's just outside of work! ..It seems like if I could learn everything, I would and more!
When I left uni I said I'd give myself 2 years working in web design. Now it's been almost 3 years! Where has the time disappeared to? It has got to the point where I either become a developer or designer and I know design is more me. Since I was a child I told my mum I wanted to be an artist. My mother questioned me and asked if I'd prefer to go into law instead? I have nothing against solicitors, but that is not the direction I wanted to go down. Over December I tried my hand at becoming a business woman, about to set-up Prolivic Ltd, however I changed my mind in the last minute last week. A few friends, including the mother, said that I should look into getting a permanent job now. A fair point, but that wasn't the reason of why I changed my mind about going ltd. Friends used to envy my freelance lifestyle, but now I envy them for being able to have a stable income.
So that is all I'm asking for this year.. Give me a salary that is decent enough to live off in London and I'll be your design monkey!
Much love! Till next time..
XOXO
This blog is about a week too late.. Oh well, better late than never!
So what is everyone's new year's resolutions? Do you have any? Those who I spoke to over the festive period were all determined that this year is the year where things will happen for them. Myself included. It appears 2011 has a lot of promise, but will it live up to its expectations? Of course things don't happen over night or without a little push.. Slowly but surely, the magic will happen :-)
My mum always believed that depending what you are doing over new year, it marks what you will be doing for the rest of the year. Is this why we don't sleep over the midnight hour? For me, new year's was about being with close friends and enjoying the music around us. The guys were fantastic. They managed to get a smoke machine and apache lighting.. A bit like this vimeo, but on a smaller scale: http://vimeo.com/2049787 Having a houseparty above a main road, made everyone want to show off that we were having a great night and dancing by the large windows that were level-height with a double-decker bus. It's times like these that I like to sing the song 'I love London' in my head.
Towards the end of the night, there were some problems with the music.. I'm not sure at what point.. perhaps I just took over and gave myself the role of DJ for the evening? Apparently Spotify stopped working and we ended up using Last.fm.. but as you know, it's a random generator for similar artists, therefore not the best thing for playing music. If only we had http://www.youtubedisco.de/ But saying that, the standard channels of youtube and soundcloud were fine. A few of my favourites played from the night were:
- 'Suffocation' by Crystal Castles
- 'Uncertainty' by DJ Cybo
- And of course, 'Strobe' by Deadmau5
New Year Wishes
For some, this year will bring:
LOVE;
Sam, a friend of mine, told me that last year he lost his brother in a motorbike accident, his girlfriend left him and to top it all off, his job were trying to get rid of him behind his back. Now he's working for himself full-time and he already found a new girlfriend at new year, who lives around the corner from him and not 100 miles away. Also, an old school friend AND a cousin are getting married this year. This probably means it's the first one to break the seal on all those who are going to get married in my age bracket. The age of the spinster has begun!
A CAREER;
Another friend, Sarah, was pushing for a job she loved. A job in the art world. She gave up her full-time waitressing job to work on a project for the arts council, which documented the lives of farmers (http://www.farming-photography.co.uk/galleries.html). However when that came to an end she was left in limbo land again. Now she will start a full-time job as a researcher for a subject that she is passionate about - renewable energy. Whereas another friend, Louise, hopes to go back to school, despite the rise in tuition fees, to study an MA to further her photography career (http://louisecarreck.com/).
TRAVEL;
Another friend is a security guard and photographer, (http://gemmaclack.com/). She wishes to save enough to visit Australia and beyond. Don't we all? A climber friend's brother, Chris Bevins (http://www.facebook.com/bevins2), has managed to travel the world over the past few years climbing, sky-diving and all sorts of adventures, even becoming ordained as a minister! How you ask? Working on an oil-rig. I wonder if they take women? ;-) A funny story from last year, was that one day he went sky-diving with the keys to his rented vehicle. Which meant he had to get public transport back to the office in Yosemite. To top it all off, he backed into a car!
..I love my friends. They're a great bunch!
You see.. the magic is already starting to happen!
For myself, it is to make it as a designer. I never realised how much of a geek I was, but since uni I love interaction design.. and now I want to learn how to make music via ableton! I also want to learn how to Tango, be a stonger climber, paint again.. And that's just outside of work! ..It seems like if I could learn everything, I would and more!
When I left uni I said I'd give myself 2 years working in web design. Now it's been almost 3 years! Where has the time disappeared to? It has got to the point where I either become a developer or designer and I know design is more me. Since I was a child I told my mum I wanted to be an artist. My mother questioned me and asked if I'd prefer to go into law instead? I have nothing against solicitors, but that is not the direction I wanted to go down. Over December I tried my hand at becoming a business woman, about to set-up Prolivic Ltd, however I changed my mind in the last minute last week. A few friends, including the mother, said that I should look into getting a permanent job now. A fair point, but that wasn't the reason of why I changed my mind about going ltd. Friends used to envy my freelance lifestyle, but now I envy them for being able to have a stable income.
So that is all I'm asking for this year.. Give me a salary that is decent enough to live off in London and I'll be your design monkey!
Much love! Till next time..
XOXO
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